Want to see more writing or join in on the conversation in the comments for one of the below? You can do so using my Fetlife writing index here!
Educational and Informational
Educational: Play and Bottoming
General (Resources on BDSM Risk Negotiation, Pain Play, Masochism, etc.)
- The Risk Profile: an alternative measure for safety and comfort in play
- You should reevaluate your risk profile.
- Ten Ways to Research Risk in Kink
- Scene Practicalities from the Bottom: a case study
- Good vs. Bad Pain (for safety and as a pain processing tool)
- Changing Your Relationship With Pain
- Making a Masochist: Coda to ‘Changing Your Relationship with Pain’
- So you want to DECREASE your pain tolerance
- And don’t forget to check out the Risk Evaluation Database!
Emotional S/m (Information on Humiliation Play, Fear Play, Degradation, etc.)
- From “I Like Degradation” to “Here’s How to Degrade Me” – a Framework for Communicating your ESM Desires
- Questions and Considerations for Bottoming to Degradation Play
- The Shame Game: A Primer to Playing with Shame in BDSM
- When it comes to emotional S&M, safewords don’t really work.
- Set and Setting in Emotional S/m
Fear Play
- Fear Responses: Risks, mitigation, and/or use in escalation
- Playing Against Type: Aiming for Fear Responses Outside of Your Default
- What Horror Movies Can Teach Us About Fear Play BDSM Scene Design
CNC (Consensual Nonconsent Play Information)
- The Kool Aid Man-Sized Hole: pre-planning for unintentional consent violations
- Avoiding Long-Term Trauma from CNC + Traumatic Play: a research-optimized framework for aftercare
- Don’t Threaten Me with a Good Time: how to say you want to not want it
- How do you make sure it isn’t too real? A conversation on CNC with -chickenlittle-
- (Also see the CNC Definition writing in the Research section below!)
Educational: Physicality, the Body, Disability
- Tips for Kinking with Chronic Illness
- My considerations for play re hypermobile Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome (hEDS)
- Four Things You’re Getting (Kind Of) Wrong About Stretching
- We SHOULD talk about fitness and bottoming–but we need to do it better.
- The idea that consent must be enthusiastic is a privileged take on the world. (No, this isn’t a CNC post.)
Educational: Roles and Relationships
- What Age or Experience Level Does a Dark Dynamic Require?
- What You Must Know About Yourself Before Pursuing a Power Exchange
- A guide to submissive-initiated protocol
- So you’ve found yourself in a long distance relationship: what worked for me on the right side of the slash (Better version of the below writing, updated in response to the COVID-19 Pandemic experience)
- Long Distance Relationships: lessening the suck
- Thoughts on Fighting Codependency in Kink
- The Subservient Little
Unhealthy vs Healthy TPE and Dark Dynamics
- START HERE: Rules of Engagement, Context, and Definitions
- Part II: What makes for a healthy/unhealthy TPE (according to me and others)
- Part III: Questions to ask yourself to tell if your dark dynamic or TPE is unhealthy or not
- Part IV: You know someone whose dynamic seems unhealthy, or yours is and you want to stay. Now what?
Blogs and Personal Writing
Coming soon!