When it comes to your body, seek experts for things you need experts in.*

Most of Fetlandia are not medical professionals.

Even if they are—because I know some rather excellent humans who are exceptions to that—they’re more than likely not your medical professionals.

And what this means is they aren’t qualified to give you the important information you need about your body and safety, no matter how much they have experienced, how visible they are, or how long they have been around.

I get a big ol’ frowny face every time I see someone pose to strangers online: “Can I do x during my wife’s pregnancy?” or “Is y safe with implants?” They can’t tell you these things. Your friends can’t. I can’t. And your kink presenter more than likely can’t, either.

The examples aren’t always that extreme, but that doesn’t mean they’re any less dangerous. Asking your friend “what stretches should I use to help this muscle pull?” or “am I strong enough to do this activity?” or even “is this how this is supposed to heal?” isn’t fair to your body, and it isn’t fair to them, either. When you do that, you put people in a situation where—if they give you advice you take, and then you end up permanently injured—they might feel responsible for your life. Not cool.

It’s frankly disturbing to me how often I’ve personally experienced this from people on this site. Yes, I’ve bottomed for a number of things, and I have talked to people who’ve bottomed for a number of things, but I can’t tell you if your body is up for that, and I can’t tell you if your recovery is normal. If I do that, maybe you don’t go to the doctor when you should, and then that’s on me. (And more than likely if you’ve ever asked me that question, I have indeed told you to go to a doctor even if I wouldn’t.) And yeah, I feel comfortable leading others in the stretching routine I use and talking about why it is the way it is, but that sure doesn’t mean I’m trained to teach you yoga.* And I can commiserate with you over chronic pain, but I can’t tell you what yours comes from or how you should treat it. I’m not qualified to do any of that, and you deserve more.

Now, what I can tell you is my own experience. I can tell you if something is in my risk profile and how I decided that. I can talk about what I’ve learned and how I’ve learned it. I can show you the routines and tests I personally use. I can share my experience with chronic pain and hypermobility spectrum disorders and tell you about how I got diagnoses, what has and hasn’t worked for me, and what I think of various doctors. But that’s about the extent of what I can do, or what anyone here should be doing. Don’t get me wrong: those conversations can** be super useful, affirming, and educational for everyone in them. They also aren’t even remotely equivalent to what a professional can do.

When you need an expert for something, ask an expert. Don’t ask a Fet forum. Don’t make it your status. Don’t text your buddy. And to take it a step further, ask an expert in the thing you’re wondering about. You probably wouldn’t ask your English professor friend to do your taxes, and you most likely shouldn’t ask your rope instructor, talented as they may be, to teach you fire play. Don’t put that burden on other people. Don’t take that chance with your body.

You only get one of these skin bags, just like anyone else. There are people out there who have studied and trained in the questions you have. They did that to help people. Seek them out.

And if you are answering these kinds of questions based on your personal experiences alone and posing it as fact?
Stop.


*The tea is that yoga studios pay the bills with yoga teacher training classes, many of which have no application process, and your yoga teacher also might not be well-trained to teach you yoga. But that’s another rant for another day.

**Emphasis on can—people with chronic illnesses often become others’ de facto medical information booklets, and it is pretty unfair/exhausting to ask people to explain what sucks about their health and why all the time.