“You know that meme from The Lion King, where Mufasa is showing Simba his realm? “What’s that shadowy place over there?” Well, that shadowy place is where edgeplay happens.”
A bit ago, I asked for definitions of edge-play. Like with the definitions of CNC, I’ve tried to compile them and look for some trends to see if edge play can be used as a universally understood term.
What is edge play as a concept?
Point of agreement: It pushes limits
Most people stated edge play pushed limits, and most of those named those of the participants. Therefore, the majority consider edge play to be highly individual. Responses included:
- “play that is on a border (either nerve-making, risk taking, or basically outside of the comfort zone) for at least one, if not all, of the participants. Since everyone’s comfort borders are widely different, what some people consider playing on the edge may seem mundane or pedestrian to others”
- “play at your own personal limit which has intent to push those boundaries”
- “whatever the participants think is near the limit of what they think is acceptable risk.”
Point of confusion: It has a heightened risk of harm
It seemed generally agreed that edge play means that there is a chance of some form of harm—not all specified, but about half as many of as those who said physical harm also said emotional harm. Legal risk (eg in the case of extreme exhibitionism) got a mention as well. Several noted that the risk of harm may be to the bottom or to the top.
Given that these answers were so common, I tried to push people to give me a bit more. I wanted to know how much risk, and what the “common level of acceptable risk” even was. For example, when presented with the answer of edge play including risk of “immediate and irreparable damage or death,” I tried to ask folks if slapping then counts as edge play since it can in rare cases permanently burst eardrums or detach corneas (note: I Love slapping; I’m not trying to scare you away from slapping. Simply making a point.) Still, I couldn’t really get answers for this besides just that edge play is simply riskier than what “most kinksters” consider normal. I also couldn’t get an answer as to what most kinksters consider normal, besides “whatever people consider the norm.” One answer did quantify as a “50/50 shot of either being enjoyable, or causing/resulting in some sort of psychological or emotional harm.” (I have a feeling this kinkster might have meant to include physical, but it was not technically in the definition.)
Point of contention: how is harm caused
Many answers did refer to edge play requiring an experienced player, but two definitions considered playing with an inexperienced person to be edge play. Technically speaking, this *would* seem to fit the definition of a heightened risk. These statements also received arguments back, comparing it to blaming a snake for biting when you step on it.
One answer stated that in some edge play, notable and irrepairable harm may be intended, and that scars and the like “aren’t a bug, they’re a feature.”
Point of contention: knowledge of risk
Some answers included things such as
“It’s something you need to go into with a total acceptance and understanding of what can go wrong and there are plans in place just in case the worst happens.”
whereas others stated that part of what qualifies something as edge play is the *lack* of ability to fully understand what can go wrong and that the risks *can’t* be well managed, garnering definitions as
“this might become something we don’t want it to be”
and
“I do not think that I will be physically or emotionally “permanently damaged” by having to listen to {emotionally triggering music} during play. On the other hand, I don’t know WHAT it will do.”
What is edge play, specifically?
These answers ranged from the abstract
- “Play that would be beyond the hard limits of most kinksters”
- “play that objectively requires special precautions”
- “Things that “if I were writing about, I would place a content warning”
- Scenes that “are the focus of kinkshaming”
to the more concrete. Specific kinks named one or more times—though I don’t believe anyone naming these meant there aren’t others—were fire play, branding, “anything involving blood,” play involving bodily fluids, sutures, cutting, sharp metal or glass, stun guns, take-down play, abduction play, interrogation, breathplay, waterboarding, rape play, race play, public exhibitionism, humiliation/degradation/fear, and prolonged scenes that go beyond exhaustion.
Why do it?
These are always my favorite definitions. Answers here included…
- “The goal may be to overcome some barriers that players want to face or to feel strong or to experience a deep trust bond.”
- “It’s the thrill of danger, challenging bodily harm and cheating death (that bastard).”
- “it’s like looking over a precipace. You feel your stomach drop, you feel fear, you feel like you have a very tenuous grasp on your sanity. It’s something that, if you let go, it could be life ending or disfiguring or cause scarring, both internally in your gray matter, and externally. It’s a moment of danger. It’s a moment you look inward and say, “Come get some.” Then you jump.”
Conclusions
This study resulted in a lot less variety than the CNC one; the only conflicts were really on whether or not playing with an inexperienced person = edge play and whether edge play is something requiring knowledge of all risks or something where that is impossible.
It does seem to me “edge play” is a term that can be pretty universally used to mean “heightened risk”. What seems less clear is where this threshold is. Risk of what? Heightened for whom? How much risk? I imagine that were we to define this further, many people might have to reclarify what they consider to be edge play (see my slapping example from before).
It is my own belief that pretty much anything we do carries at least some level of irreparable damage of some form. I can think of nothing in BDSM that does not. For me, edge play is a useless term for that reason. Anecdotally speaking, I have actually personally heard of many more injuries from things people consider more on the vanilla 50 shades-y side of things (such as simple bedroom bondage, slapping, and flogging), simply because people assume they are easy/simple and don’t think they need to look into how to do what they do or what risks to be prepared for. On the other hand, those I know nailing each other to crosses, suspending with barbed wire, and so forth are—not always, but mostly—probably the safest players I know (despite getting infinite numbers of folks in their photo comments insisting otherwise) because they are practiced, well informed, and generally not fucking around. I’d like to see us start treating all play with the same level of regard we would edge play. Consider: what precautions would you set forth before engaging in what you think is edge play for the first time or with someone new? Vetting the top? Researching risks, or learning how to do it for yourself if you’re a bottom? Creating a contingency plan? Talking to others who have experience engaging it? Something else? Now, ask yourself: is there a good reason you don’t do that for other sorts of play?
As with anything else in what it is we do, bottoms and tops do need to communicate as to their general level of “acceptable risk” and share anything they know about the risks of the activity to the other in order for all players to be fully informed—to the extent that that is ever possible.
Housekeeping
Please note these are quotes taken from some of the definitions. I was not able to include all of them in a logical fashion. Sometimes, multiple quotes may come from one answer. If you’d like, you can read answers in their original form on Fetlife here. Should you want to join in on the conversation in the comments of the analysis, you can find the original Fetlife post of this one here.
If you’d like to be included in future research surveys, please subscribe to my substack, where I’ll send out calls for responses. I do also post these on my Fet profile, but this can be harder to see in the time you need to respond by than one in your email.