A day in vahavta’s brain, post-scene
Sometime around 1:30 AM
Owner: In a few minutes here, we’re going to go to Cookout and get some food.
Me: *immediately bursts into tears*
2:15 AM
Sex imminent. Vagina really feelin’ that being a great idea. Thighs, which are beat the fuck up, disagree. Vagina takes the wheel. Orgasms, frantic declarations of Love, and fear of my legs never working again ensue.
2:50 AM
Owner: All right. I am determined to get some damn Cookout. You can wear my hoodie. What do you want to eat?
Me, meekly: Nothing. I’m not hungry. If I eat I’ll throw up.
2:58 AM
Cookout is closed even though they are SUPPOSED to be open until 3. We go to McDonald’s instead.
Me: I really, really, want to have a parfait.
3:12 AM
Owner: You can go to bed if you need. I’m going to be awake for a while longer.
Me: I AM STAYING WHERE YOU ARE.
I proceed to get inexplicably angry at whiny people on Reddit, insist on watching Dom Mazetti on youtube, and cuddle my stuffed dinosaur named Rawr.
4:00 AM
We go upstairs to go to bed. Owner walks behind me in case I suddenly forget how to use my legs, which is a possibility.
4:01 AM
Owner rolls over to spoon me and somehow pokes me directly in the eye. I immediately burst into tears.
1:30 PM
We wake up. There are no good feelings left in the entire world.
2:36 PM
I stumble downstairs holding Rawr. Owner sees me and laughs. This makes me REALLY REALLY angry because of COURSE I need my dinosaur.
2:38 PM
Owner: What’s wrong?
Me: I JUST woke up!
Owner: No need to take an attitude.
Me: Well, You asked me what’s wrong and NOTHING is WRONG.
I am well aware something is wrong.
2:48 PM
Owner leaves me in the car while He goes into a store. I listen to Honey, I’m Good and bounce up and down while trying to figure out what country linedance would fit best to it. I plot out said linedances using my hands as feet.
2:56 PM
I am somehow crying again. However, in my head, there is a constant stream of NAH NAH HONEY I’M GOOD I COULD GET ANOTHER BUT I PROBABLY SHOULDNA GOT SHNAW SHNAW SHNAW blah blah blah blah blah blah LEAVE ALONE
3:01 PM
Me: I’m so good at explaining away bruises! Everything but bite marks. I’m great!
Owner: What’ll you say about these?
Me: Oh, easily a pole fitness injury.
3:02 PM
Guy inside the Walmart: Shit, man, what happened to your legs?
Me: Skateboarding.
3:06 PM
Owner decides to do majority of shopping tomorrow. My thoughts are as follows:
He doesn’t want to be seen with me. He doesn’t want to BE with me. I’m not fun anymore. This isn’t good. He just wants to get home as soon as possible so that He doesn’t have to pretend I’m interesting which I’m clearly not and He doesn’t want someone who carries a stuffed dinosaur in the car and how am I ever going to NAH NAH HONEY I’M GOOD I COULD GET ANOTHER BUT I PROBABLY oh my lord my thighs hurt FUCK that scene was great and I haven’t told him and what if
I am now crying again.
3:25 PM
Owner: You’ve been really distant today, and a bit snappy. I don’t know if I’m dropping, but I’m feeling like something went really wrong.
Me: *oh god oh god oh god oh god* I AM SO AFRAID I AM TOO CLINGY AND NEEDY
Owner: You literally have not reached out to me today at all.
Me: IT IS BECAUSE I AM TOO NEEDY
Owner: …
Me: *leaps into Owner’s arms. Starts crying. Again.*
Owner: It’s okay. You are okay. It’s going to be okay.
Me: *shakes head*
Owner: It’s going to be okay. It’s going to be okay. It’s going to be okay.
Aftercare version of Good Will Hunting ensues.
3:41 PM
Owner: I will never be without you. You’re mine. You don’t get to leave. I’d kill you first.
I am no longer crying.
Owner: Well, that was a weird thing to calm you down.
4:17 PM
We now have the Cookout we didn’t get last night and are watching an episode of Dexter.
Me, shyly: I really like Your new gloves.
Owner: Is that so?
Me: Yeah. I really do.
Owner: Seemed like they hurt a lot.
Me: Yeah. They did. I really like them.
6:25 PM
We go upstairs to nap for a half hour. I take off my shirt in the bathroom and look at myself in the mirror for the first time all day.
Me: My tits are bruised!
Owner: Yes, they are. I thought you liked tit bruises?
Me: I do! That’s why I’m smiling! Oh my god last night was SO great.
Owner: Yes, it was.
7:42 PM
We have napped for more than a half hour. He goes downstairs to play Elder Scrolls. I stay upstairs and read. I do not cry.
8:58 PM
On my own, I get up, get into the shower, wash and blow-dry my hair, and decide that I feel like a functional human.
I put on my Owner’s dinosaur t-shirt. It is Rawr’s favorite.