Yo, here’s a novel idea.
What if people who said YKINMKBYKIOK actually thought other people’s kinks were okay?
What if people DIDN’T say “rope is just bondage; it isn’t even a real scene! The obsession with it is all about vanity”?
Or “anyone who likes doing that to a woman is dangerous and an abuser, and if she says she likes it she has self-esteem issues”?
Or how about “anyone who uses the word Daddy/Mommy as an actual parent/child roleplay is sick and condones abuse!”?
Or “tickling is the lowest form of kink”? Or “if you think race play is a turn on, you need therapy”? Or “whip scenes are *so* show-offy, there’s no connection when you can’t even touch your bottom”?
Let’s try a few more: “Get your blowjobs off of K+P; exhibitionism isn’t really kinky.” “Pet play is one thing, but never go full furry.” “Doing needles on yourself is just an excuse to self-harm.” “Leather people are a bit too cult-y for me.” “I’d never ruin such perfect breasts with marks like that!” “Men into cuckolding are really sad.” “You’d loan your girl out? You must not really love her.” “Feet guys are just SO weird.” “Abandonment play is for lazy doms.” “Why do you let them call you such hateful things? You deserve better.” (And so on. Because those are all the same. Just so you know.)
What if, if you really needed to express that something freaked you out/you wouldn’t allow it in your venue/you didn’t get it, you just phrased it as “that freaks me out, but you do you!” or “that’s cool, but not in this space!” or “that one doesn’t make sense to me; what do you like about it?” or even “okay! Have a great time, bye!”
Or, to present something totally bold, what if you just shrugged and decided not to disparage other people when someone definitely thinks at least one thing you do is disgusting, weird, or really fucking boring? Especially if you’ve been in this community for years, have said YKINMKBYKIOK, and frankly should just know better.
Yeah? Cool.
This has been a 3 am post by your pissy neighborhood vahavta.